Can and Do People Really Change?


Can and Do People Really Change?

I looked at this question recently because I was watching a rerun of Big Bang Theory and Sheldon made a comment something like… People don’t change, they really want to change, but they don’t.

My first thought was- what a depressing way to live life. Then I though, well… quite a few people think that way not just about other people, but even more damaging is thinking it about oneself.

Of course, I believe people can change- it is the basis of my coaching practice. I would not be a coach, if I didn’t think and know that people can and do change.

So, why don’t more people truly change and do and be what they want to do and be?

1. It is easiest to stay the same- for awhile, but eventually, the pain will become too great… and change becomes a must. For example, that feeling of hitting rock bottom.

2. People feel like they keep making the same mistakes over and over and then look for evidence to prove that indeed- it is true- they have not changed. But what happens when you are looking for evidence to your already predetermined conclusion? You prove yourself right.

How about looking for evidence that you have made positive changes? If you are making health changes- Are you drinking more water? Are you moving a little bit more-even if it is just a few minutes? Did you eat something healthy this week? etc.

If you are trying to grow your career or your business-  Have you made new contacts in the last 90 days? Have you had a new idea? Have you learned something new?

You see, people do change sometimes because they must and -in the best of times, because they choose to change.

  • Instead of counting your setbacks, tally up your successes- no matter the size.
  • Look at every failed attempt as something learned and part of what makes you so amazing.
  • Think of it this way, if you see that you have made little changes… why not consider making big changes?

Everyone who begins to make the shift to believing that they can change- makes huge leaps forward. You don’t have to be at the top of your class, the smartest guy or gal in the room, or the most beautiful. (If you are all those- chances are- you still have blocks and limiting beliefs that get in the way).

All you need to be and do what you want, is to foster the belief that you can, and then DECIDE to do it. Decide that you will do it, that you will learn what you need to learn and build the team around you to support you.

“Decision” is genius. When we are on the fence- we are most vulnerable and uncomfortable.

The  moment you decide and say- I’m doing it- you unleash unstoppable energy from within.

For momentum, rapid change, and transformation check out my 21 Days to More Freedom, Happiness and Success  courses Click Here

Cheers to your fabulous success!


Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD, MA


Your Inspired Action Success Coach

Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD.,MA, CGCL Your Inspired Action Success Coach. Sheri Kaye Hoff is a Life, Executive and Small Biz Coach and transformational best selling author of multiple books. She is a leadership expert, keynote speaker, international radio show guest,  podcast host, and workshop leader with 20 years of coaching, mentoring,  training and development experience. Visit Sheri at



21 Days of more Freedom, Happiness and Success Click Here 

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Why I spent three months wearing the wrong glasses

Have you always asked for what you want? I mean really want in your life. Or do you ask for what you think you might be able to have? Or, even worse, are you afraid to ask for even your basic needs?


On the intellectual level, you probably think, of course I can ask for what I want and need.  But in practice, it doesn’t always work this way.

Here is what happened in my life. I have always thought that  I am confident person who is empowered and proactive, yet I had some realizations that in some areas of my life, I was playing very small and not asking for or acting on some of my wants and even some of my basic needs.  I constantly put other people’s priorities over my own- even if I suffered quite a bit. I needed more boundaries. I needed to demand better self-care for myself and to value my worthiness.

This happens to the best of us… we don’t realize it is happening- we could be brilliant- but when it comes to our own self-awareness- we sometimes drop the ball.

For example, I lost my glasses ( I was mad at myself- they were the really nice, beautiful and expensive kind) and I wore my old prescription for three months before I ordered a new pair. Money wasn’t the problem. During that three months, we spent hundreds of dollars on sports activities for son, my daughters graduation party, eating out and other fun stuff. Yet I somehow felt that I needed to wait on a basic need for myself (to see correctly is a pretty basic need). I was getting headaches and dizzy every day- yet I still functioned and didn’t make it a priority.

Then I thought about my mom- and how many years she went without getting glasses at all- she held the menus at restaurants in all crazy ways to see better, she bought my kids the wrong size clothes at the store when they were little because she couldn’t see the tag.  Finally, she bought glasses. I would always ask her why she didn’t go in to get them- and she would say, “I’ll get around to it.” In this situation, she put herself last.  Hmmm….sound familiar?

Then, my grown up daughter became ill and the ER doc told her she needed to be more proactive about her health. She had severe symptoms for a week before she went in and the waiting complicated things. In this situation, she put her health at the bottom of the list. Hmmm…sound familiar?

It was actually these events that flipped the switch in me so I changed to  be able to always ask for what I want and need. (Even when I am asking God/the Universe). I realized that I needed to step into acknowledging what I really wanted- whether it was new glasses, or something much bigger.

Note: When I say ask- I don’t mean asking my hubby or someone else- I  mean asking in a general way- giving myself permission to stand up for what I really want in my life. To value every part of myself, -physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual.

If you need some help flipping that switch Click Here for a free 20 minute strategy session.

Question: Where have you been playing small? And what did you do about it when you realized it?




Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD.

The Inspired Action Success Coach 

What I Love About Failure

What do I love about failure? I love the way failure drives my determination to do better. In fact, some of my greatest accomplishments were driven by a previous “failure”. I see this often with clients, too.  I have actually gotten to the point of using the word fail or failure almost never. The reason is that a failure is really a lesson.  And to me, it is only a failure if you give up on life. If you keep going… you haven’t failed.

Was I always like this? No. I love to win and succeed. I have often experienced the sensation of being able to achieve what I want seamlessly and in a straightforward manner. So when I would “fail” – I hated it. I would dwell on it for weeks. I would be embarrassed and angry.

What I learned is that if I never “fail”- I am setting the achievement bar too low. When I am stretching, I am bound to make a few mistakes and that is okay- because I want the bar to be set high.

On an intellectual level, most of us understand and are able to say… I will do better next time. But on an emotional level, how can we take the sting out of an “epic fail”. You might have chuckled because most of us have not truly had an “epic fail” but we think we have in the moment of the experience.

So what can you do? When you are right in the middle of disappointment? First, be very gentle with yourself. Allow some quiet time to reflect, listen to music, journal and chill out. If you are in a public forum and you cannot leave, take deep breaths. Choose your words carefully- you don’t want to be a “sore loser”. Be happy (at least on the outside) for other’s success (eventually you will be able to be genuinely happy). Avoid quick decisions when you are in the middle of feeling the “failure”.

Allow some time to pass (it could be minutes, hours, days…) so you can gain perspective. Then go back to your journal and write down the positive side…  you can even rewrite the experience minus the mistakes to train your brain for the next steps you take.

One of the best things about ‘failure” is that it can shake your energy up and give you a shot of momentum to make positive changes.

The best advice of all… keep going, keep doing, keep believing. Believe in YOU. I do.



Sheri Kaye Hoff, MA, CGCL.

Your Inspired Action Success Coach. Life Coach and Transformational Author of multiple books.

Do You Need to Reprogram Your System

I am a fan of the television show Big Bang Theory. It is a wonderful comedy about brilliant, nerdy scientists who are also super hero fans, comic book obssessed, and Sci-fiction obssessed. During a rerun, Sheldon refers to an instance when Captain Kirk faces an unwinnable situation and the way that Kirk won was to “cheat” by reprogramming the system. Sheldon applies this to his own life when one of his friends refuses to accept his apology. At this point you might be thinking why is Sheri talking about a silly comedy? I, of course, immediately perked up when I was watching the show and heard the words “reprogramming the system”.
Here is a thought for you… you might be facing a seemingly unwinnable situation. For example,  you have certain unchangeable bills to pay and not enough money coming in to pay them. No matter how you add everything up, month after month, you notice that you are in a frantic game of pay this person- don’t pay that person. Then the next month you pay the second person and not the first, etc.  You find yourself a month or more behind. When I talk with people who are in this or a similar “unwinnable” situation, a common thread is to keep doing the same thing over and over again- which is to think that something will be different without changing anything.  Imagine a baby or a small child continously trying to put a puzzle piece in the same spot and it doesn’t fit.
How can we change the “unwinnable” situations in our lives? Let’s start with reprogramming the system. This starts with our thoughts. What if we lived in a system where there were always enough and inner peace was the normal way of being? What if nothing was ever late, past due? What if banks were accepting, forgiving, and patient?
At this point you might be laughing…  but I think you see where I am going here… everything in our lives begins from the point of thought… and the first place for change is to “reprogram our system” of thoughts.
In college, once, I was asked to create a Utopia… (the perfect place with the perfect system).
Exercise: Create your own utopian world- where everything works perfectly and you are happy. (and everyone else is happy, too). Write in your journal. Have fun, be outrageous. Notice shifts.
Try my Success Club for only $7 to shift your thoughts and stay focused on positive thinking. Click Here



Sheri Kaye Hoff, MA, CGCL.

Your Inspired Action Success Coach. Life Coach and Transformational Author of multiple books.

Your Path to Success eZine

Your Path to Success eZine
February 1, 2012
Dear Friend, 

Happy February!

I am sending you thoughts of joy, love, and success.

Happy Birthday…. to me. It is my birthday on February 2. On my birthday last year, I was on the Hay House cruise with Cheryl Richardson, Reid Tracy, Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue and more… and my Be the Inspiration book… was merely an idea on a one page document. So, my Birthday gift to myself… has been completing this special book. It is available as an ebook on my website and on Amazon kindle… In a about two to three weeks- it will also be available as a paperback book worldwide and in book stores everywhere.

I just lunched my brand new ebook – BE the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World. Early reviews have been outstanding. You can get it now and receive hundreds of dollars worth of valuable bonus gifts. Check it out-Click Here

I want to thank these colleagues and clients for contributing stories to complement the lessons in each chapter: Pat Hastings, Erin Ruiz, Doug Jarvie, Nancy Farris, Nancy Falconi, Nanice Ellis, Connie Nylund, Janet Nestor, Linda Hardenstein, Hemal Radia, Crystal Lynn Miller. I appreciate the inspiring stories from these exceptional people.

And… coming soon….in about a week, I will be launching my new smartphone app… so be sure to look for that information.

In this issue: you will find specials, articles, and tips.  Enjoy!

You can also find me on Amazon and Barnes and Noble…Click Here

And you can access my free podcast on itunes Click Here


Love, Joy and Abundant Blessings,

Sheri Kaye Hoff

Your Inspired Action Success Coach

Excerpt from BE the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World by Sheri Kaye Hoff

Please enjoy this excerpt from my new ebook Be the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World

“You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.” – Winston Churchill

“Do you feel a pull to do and be more?

Is it important to you to be able to inspire yourself and those around you?
Do you want to be more effective and impactful in your career or business?
Does your level of personal and team leadership influence your income?
It is important to be inspired, to feed our souls on a daily basis. Once you become adept at knowing what inspires you personally, then the next natural move is to inspire the world around you. This is the time when you help others transform through your message, your example.

Ask yourself, what can I teach? How can I lead? How can I inspire? Who can I inspire? This is a time for mentoring and giving back. You do have something that is uniquely you… that can help those around you… your job is to find out what that is and make a commitment to truly BE the Inspiration.

This book- BE the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World is designed to take you from getting inspired personally to becoming the inspiration to those around you. Learn what it takes to become an inspiring leader so you can grow your business, become a leader in your profession, lead a program, make a difference and/or become a thought leader. Learn how to use your personal development story to create a meaningful and inspiring platform.

Through the use the acronym INSPIRE and you will learn key components of explosive personal and leadership growth.

What do I mean when I say- “Be the inspiration”?
There is a difference between getting inspired personally (yes we do need to that, we need to take care of ourselves, but there is more). There comes a point in life when we are not only interested in being inspired personally, but we start reaching out and inspiring other people, either through examples, through programs we run or the job that we have, or the goals that we have, and your life becomes more than just about you as an individual.

Being the inspiration- is the way that we lift up the people around us. It is the way that we get our message across and it is the way that we grow. Maybe you have a business or you are working in a company or you want to start something new, or maybe you lead a non- profit. It becomes important for you to have strategies and ways of being in place to be effective at and that is what I am going to share with you in this book, Be the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World.

By reading this book- you will be able to get tools and techniques that you can use right away. Upon reading this book, you might decide that you want to continue this conversation with me and I am going to tell you how you can do that and I am also going to offer you something special, too.

As we get started… I would love for you to set an intention for this book. I am a big fan of setting an intention for every experience in my life and I like to have my clients do it, too. So if you could hold for yourself, a space for your intention for reading this book – that would be fantastic.

Hold your hand over your heart… and ask:

What is my intention?
What specific piece do I want to learn?
Do I want to be inspired? Motivated?
Whatever it is for you personally- Set your intention. In my book, Living Successfully and Joyfully Every Day: 90 Days of Inspiration- I talk about the importance of consciousness…and when we set an intention we are making a conscious choice.

For example, your intention might be getting motivated to act, and/or it might be getting clarity on a goal.
Some people who have heard and or read the concepts included in this book experienced clarity around the program that they wanted to start or their next steps to take in their lives.
So go ahead and set an intention for yourself.

I want you to know that you do have the power and ability to overcome obstacles and not only achieve your dreams, but live successfully and joyfully every day.

Let’s dive in, let’s talk about the acronym INSPIRE…”

I hope you enjoyed this excerpt…

You can get this ebook plus hundreds of dollars worth bonus gifts today

Click Here

Sheri Kaye Hoff, MA, CGCL  is a world-renowned Life Coach, Amazon and Barnes & Noble Author. Coach Sheri knows what it takes to go from tragedy to triumph. She discovered her brother after his suicide death as a teenager and she struggled for years with sadness and depression. Eventually, she found her way back to both success and joy.She is a popular radio show guest, keynote speaker, and workshop leader. Coach Sheri possesses a transformational coaching approach and is able to teach and inspire others to take inspired action and live joyfully and successfully every day.She has a Master’s degree in Organizational Management and is a certified group coaching leader. She has taught ethics and business classes at the collegiate level. Sheri lives in beautiful Parker, Colorado with her family.


ISSUE #152
Get this book now in Kindle or Paperback from AmazonOne of multiple books written by Life Coach and Author Sheri Kaye Hoff – Available on Amazon, Kindle, and Barnes and Noble
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Sheri Kaye Hoff
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4 Keys Be Your Personal Best:>>>Watch the Video Click here
Coaching Tip:If you have a habit that you are trying to change… track your thoughts and actions over a week’s time. Use a journal. For instance, if you want to be more organized, notice the things that you seem to be doing over and over. For example, maybe you find yourself looking for the same file over and over or maybe you are consistently late for the same meeting each week. Once you see your pattern, you can arm yourself with tools to change.Sometimes a simple change can help. I like the Google Chrome App called Listthings. I can put sticky notes online instead of having them allover my desk.


‎”You are meant to experience the zest” from Be the Inspiration: 7 Ways to Inspire Your World book


I have habits that support me in achieving my goals.



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“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.” Maya Angelou

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