Nothing saps confidence more than feeling like you have failed on a daily basis to keep your promises that you made to yourself. So why do we set goals with the best of intentions and then don’t take action?
The answer is resistance. In fact, as soon as you set a goal- especially if you really want that goal, the ego kicks up a whole lot of resistance. What do I mean by resistance?
Everyone deals with resistance all of the time- there is no possibility of never experiencing resistance- resistance is a distracting behavior– e.g. watching too much television, procrastinating, eating too much, surfing the web aimlessly, manufacturing excuses, being paralyzed by fear, emotional over-reactions, doing everything but what you really want to be doing, etc. The key is…
in realizing when you are resisting. The self-awareness will help you make it through the resistance and give you the vision and strength to move forward toward your goal. What are you going to do right now in this moment to move forward in spite of resisting behavior?
There was a tv show a while back, where this expert was coaching an overweight young woman to lose weight. She said she was on board, but the first day at the gym- she ran to the bathroom after being on the treadmill for a few minutes and she was crying and throwing up. He went in the bathroom and told her to get back on the treadmill. Her “fit” wasn’t because she couldn’t do the work out, the incident happened because she didn’t like the changes (it is natural to resist change). She had a huge emotional and physical over-reaction because her life was changing. Though resistance to change is a normal response, it is a behavior that we need to transcend in order to live the lives we really want and achieve the goals that we really want.
In your life, when you find yourself having physical and emotional reactions, check in with yourself and notice if the reaction is your truth at your highest level of yourself- or if you are merely resisting changes.
In life, resistance is a distraction keeping you from facing your real goals and desires. Resistance occurs because it is related to fear- fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of change, fear of not measuring up, etc.
Journal exercise: What resisting behaviors am I engaging in? How are these behaviors preventing me from achieving my real desires? Then, decide today that you will move forward no matter what resistance comes up. You probably have learned that if you practice at anything you get better at it.
The more you practice handling resistance, the more efficiently you can handle it in the future. Your confidence grows as you overcome resistance and achieve goals.
Affirmations: I am on the right path. I move forward with confidence.
“There is no failure. Only feedback”. ~Robert Allen
***Get my free webinar instant download where I take you through a releasing fear exercise that has the power to shift your fear, resistance and limiting beliefs right as you listen to the webinar- in that moment- you can shift . Get it today
Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD