Day 3 of the 12 Days of Christmas Cheer giveaway
Each day, I will offer a coaching tip on a self-growth topic, plus a free downloadable gift and a special discount on my coaching products. On the final day, I will be holding a drawing from all of the blog comments and will be giving out a $25 Amazon gift card to a drawing prize winner. Enter the drawing by commenting on the blog posts. (Note- One comment per day per person will be entered into the drawing).
Today’s Tip: Relationships
This time of year is a time when families gather, which is a beautiful, wonderful thing, right? If you have ever seen the movie 4 Christmases, where the main characters try to take a vacation every year to avoid the holidays with family, you can see that not everyone cherishes all of the extra time with family.
During the holidays, emotions are amplified. So if you have that relative who always tries to “one up” you or criticize the way you raise your kids, it actually bothers you more than other times of the year.
And to add to the pressure, many people have a difficult time understanding and identifying emotions, so if a person feels sad, the emotion could be expressed as anger. For example, your relative tries to start an argument by pushing every button that you have right when you are about to leave. The truth is likely that they simply are thinking about missing you when you are gone. Knowing this, you can avoid an argument by refusing to take “the bait”.
If you find yourself falling into familiar patterns every year, you can change this by creating strategies ahead of time with this three step process.
First, mentally create your desired outcome. Imagine what it would be like to have peaceful conversations and lots of fun. Imagine laughing and enjoying each other. Be a deliberate creator. Line up with the energy of what you want instead of what you don’t want.
Second, decide how you want to be. Do you want to have your heart filled with love for your family? Love is a verb- something you do- it is a choice. No one can push your buttons unless you allow it. There is always that space between stimulus and response where you have choice. Make deliberate choices instead of reacting.
Finally, stick to your important boundaries. For example, if your mom insists on feeding your children too many cookies and it really bothers you and you know your children will not feel well; take the cookie plate away and distract your children. Affirm to your mom that you love her and she is an excellent baker. Then change the subject. You don’t have to understand why your relatives do and say what they do. You don’t have to make them “wrong” either. The key is to choose the important things and not make everything a battle.When you know that you will not back down on the things that are important to you, most often, other people don’t push hard on the boundary. When you are not sure, people sense this and will push harder against you.
Today’s Gift (no opt in): 4 Keys to Living an Inspired Life Click Here
Today’s Discount- The Sacred Success Builder program Click Here
Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff
Your Inspired Action Success Coach