Why I spent three months wearing the wrong glasses

Have you always asked for what you want? I mean really want in your life. Or do you ask for what you think you might be able to have? Or, even worse, are you afraid to ask for even your basic needs?


On the intellectual level, you probably think, of course I can ask for what I want and need.  But in practice, it doesn’t always work this way.

Here is what happened in my life. I have always thought that  I am confident person who is empowered and proactive, yet I had some realizations that in some areas of my life, I was playing very small and not asking for or acting on some of my wants and even some of my basic needs.  I constantly put other people’s priorities over my own- even if I suffered quite a bit. I needed more boundaries. I needed to demand better self-care for myself and to value my worthiness.

This happens to the best of us… we don’t realize it is happening- we could be brilliant- but when it comes to our own self-awareness- we sometimes drop the ball.

For example, I lost my glasses ( I was mad at myself- they were the really nice, beautiful and expensive kind) and I wore my old prescription for three months before I ordered a new pair. Money wasn’t the problem. During that three months, we spent hundreds of dollars on sports activities for son, my daughters graduation party, eating out and other fun stuff. Yet I somehow felt that I needed to wait on a basic need for myself (to see correctly is a pretty basic need). I was getting headaches and dizzy every day- yet I still functioned and didn’t make it a priority.

Then I thought about my mom- and how many years she went without getting glasses at all- she held the menus at restaurants in all crazy ways to see better, she bought my kids the wrong size clothes at the store when they were little because she couldn’t see the tag.  Finally, she bought glasses. I would always ask her why she didn’t go in to get them- and she would say, “I’ll get around to it.” In this situation, she put herself last.  Hmmm….sound familiar?

Then, my grown up daughter became ill and the ER doc told her she needed to be more proactive about her health. She had severe symptoms for a week before she went in and the waiting complicated things. In this situation, she put her health at the bottom of the list. Hmmm…sound familiar?

It was actually these events that flipped the switch in me so I changed to  be able to always ask for what I want and need. (Even when I am asking God/the Universe). I realized that I needed to step into acknowledging what I really wanted- whether it was new glasses, or something much bigger.

Note: When I say ask- I don’t mean asking my hubby or someone else- I  mean asking in a general way- giving myself permission to stand up for what I really want in my life. To value every part of myself, -physical, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual.

If you need some help flipping that switch Click Here for a free 20 minute strategy session.

Question: Where have you been playing small? And what did you do about it when you realized it?




Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD.

The Inspired Action Success Coach


4 thoughts on “Why I spent three months wearing the wrong glasses

  1. Oh my gosh, you need to stop reading my life like this! It had to be about the glasses too, didn’t it? That struck a chord in me because I spent this whole week thinking I need to get an appointment not just for me, but for my children. However, when i was young I spent a lot of time not asking for what I needed or wanted. I have a lot of guilt attached to speaking up for my own needs and that guilt is also attached to receiving them. Even today I have procrastinated about doing my Doctorate homework for reasons I cannot fathom but I know in what they are rooted. Thank you for this post! I have been pursuing boldness in life in my current season!

    Elizabeth T, Early Rise

    1. Hi Elizabeth,
      One thing I realized too about not asking for what I need and want… was related to fear- that I had the message deep down somewhere that I would be told “no” and be denied- so why bother asking? This has been a year for of taking care of these things festering under the surface… and I have been conquering fear left and right. I decided it was my mission this year to put any remaining fears to rest. (Oh, I know there will probably be a few lurking around here and there- but nothing too constraining). I also put off doing my homework for my PhD over the years… I realized for me… it was a fear of completing and having that part of my life over. I did finish and become Dr. Sheri… and so can you:) I know it. Blessings, Sheri

  2. It’s amazing as a mom how I often put myself, my needs, wants, desires, last. I recently started putting my health first. Exercising, eating better…and amazingly it has made everything better in other ways. Putting your self first without needing “permission” can be so hard!

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