My Fear was Ridiculous


My fear was ridiculous and I had been hiding behind it for years. You must be thinking that it was a huge, gigantic fear of something terrible. It was a fear of golfing. Okay, I can hear you giggling right now.

Learning to golf was on my bucket list. My husband golfs and my son golfs, so it seems like a no-brainer that I would golf, too. Or I would at least have plenty of opportunities to golf.

There is a story behind my ridiculous fear. Over 25 years ago, I was in a relationship and my boyfriend at the time took me to a golf tournament that he was golfing in. I told him I had never golfed and so the plan was that I would go and watch. When we arrived at  the golf club, he decided that we would both hit balls at the driving range area.

The problem was… I couldn’t hit the golf ball. I swung twice and missed it. My boyfriend looked so disgusted and he moved away from me. He pretended he didn’t know me. I was 20  years old and embarrassed to be treated that way.

Fast forward a couple of decades,  a husband, and kids… I began to crave to learn how to golf, but I really thought I couldn’t do it. I have played many sports in my life- tennis, volleyball, downhill skiing, figure skating- just to name a few and have been naturally good at most sports.

I wanted to golf, but would get sweaty hands just thinking about it. I realized that I had let my early story really affect me.  I wanted to break free from the story and finally put any hurt feelings from that previous relationship to rest.

I reasoned that eventually, I probably could hit a golf ball. I reasoned that even if I was terrible at golf, it would be okay. Golfing became a symbol of doing everything in my life that I feared.  I decided to take the plunge and bought a set of clubs even before I had a lesson or even tried to hit a golf ball.

I went to the driving range with my husband and son. I swung at the first ball- and missed. Guess what- I didn’t collapse into tears- the world didn’t stop- and  I still felt pretty darn good about myself.  The second time I swung- I hit the ball- and it went about ten feet. Then I hit another, and another, and another. Each swing getting better and better. I felt strong, powerful, and accomplished.

It turns out this was a start of a love affair with golf. I love it. I even watch it on TV, get Golf magazine, and have golf discussions with my husband and son.  I am still a beginner. But I love being a beginner at something when I am 45 years old. Learning something new and being outside for hours has been wonderful for me.

Think about your life… and substitute the word golf for something you fear or have been putting off. Is there something you really want to do? Now is the time. If you have recently conquered a fear- I would love to hear your comments too:)



Dr. Sheri Kaye Hoff, PhD

The Inspired Action Success Coach 

16 thoughts on “My Fear was Ridiculous

  1. What would our lives be without firsts? And why should those firsts stop just because we are grown up? It’s all about stepping out of the comfort zone and just allowing ourselves to be! Although golf isn’t my thing (and that’s a long story for another day), I can definitely relate to your tale, and have things I’m trying, just because I can, and because I don’t have to be perfect at them, I just have to have a good time! Thank you for sharing this story.

  2. I always enjoy your posts but today really resonated with me. I hope you don’t mind me sharing my story.

    My sister-in-law, is a second degree black belt in kick boxing and has been posting about her love of kickboxing on Facebook for years. One day she got my husband interested in trying it. He too loved it. He would come home afterwards so excited and try to convince me to go. I am a very non-confrontational person. Why would I ever want to try kickboxing?

    He convinced me one night to go for the ride and just watch. So I did. He kept on me after that, insisting that it would be great for me to learn how to defend myself if the situation ever arose where I needed to. I had an INTENSE fear that I would get hurt but to stop him from nagging, I went to one class.

    To end this long response to your fantastic post, I am now an orange belt and love the feeling of accomplishment I get after each class. So, I completely understand where you are coming from with this.

    Congrats on your new found love. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us!!

    Missy Bell

  3. I couldn’t get the hang of golf so opted for min golf instead and loved it. 🙂 When you fail at something, get up and try again, do it as many times as needed. It’s what I tell my kids. You did a great job and I loved the back story.

    1. That’s so true. We will fail, especially in the beginning. But when we get back in there and try again, we not only strengthen our abilities but our resolve it makes us stronger people.

      Missy Bell.

  4. Hi Sheri,

    Stopping by from UBC and I must start following your blog 🙂 It looks like my sister-in-law Missy already left a comment – she’s awesome! So now you know a little about me if you read her comment. I’m a 2nd degree black belt in Muay Thai Kickboxing. But for years I was ‘scared’ of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I had no desire to roll around on the mats with sweaty guys. I had a fear of someone choking me out. I had a fear of someone dripping sweat into my face. ewwww.

    Well, at the dojo I go to, they started a ladies BJJ program. I still avoided it. “I don’t have time…” was my biggest excuse. Fast forward a few years and right before Christmas I decided to try a class. I loved it. I officially started training in the gentle art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in January of 2013. I even roll with the guys every Thursday night. My fear had no basis in reality.

    Great post!

    Peggy Nolan

  5. Pingback: Golf Mishaps and Humor | A blog about service, mishaps and life

  6. Hi! I understand this is sort of off-topic however I needed to ask.
    Does managing a well-established blog like yours take a large
    amount of work? I am completely new to running a blog but I do write in my journal on a
    daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I can easily share my experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

    1. I think blogging is enjoyable- it can also be a lot of work. I like to plan out my topics and then write… sometimes- I just free flow an idea and fit it in. Blogging can be time consuming and become overwhelming if you don’t stay focused and disciplined. I would decide how much time you want to spend… and then stick to that- so if that means one blog a week, a couple a month, or every day- the key is – you get to decide:) My goal is to blog once a week- sometimes I blog more and sometimes I blog less- but I always have a current blog post in every month. I hope that helps:)

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